Find a mirror, pick a subject that is meaningful to you, and start talking to yourself in a mirror. Notice your posture, are you slouching, or standing up straight? Notice your eye contact, do you make eye contact with your image in the mirror or are you looking down or away? Do you smile when you talk? Do you yawn when you are talking? Are you animated?
Find a non-critical friend or sibling. Ask them if they would participate in a behavioral rehearsal and have a casual conversation about your favorite television show, your favorite place to eat, etc.? Sit down so that the two of you are comfortable. You are to initiate the conversation. Pick your favorite place to eat and just talk about why you like it. The content of the conversation is secondary. You want to pay attention to the same things you did in the mirror exercise. Eye contact, relaxed posture, leaning slightly forward to engage the other person, smile, using hand gestures and being animated, all of these are going to make you feel more confident and come across as more confident.
Here are a few other quips for confidence and conversation. Listen to the other person, don’t look away, yawn, or interrupt. Don’t dominate the conversation, often when people are nervous they tend to prattle on and not allow the other person to get in a word, let alone a sentence. At the end of this conversation ask your friend or sibling for objective feedback.
The next step would have you join in a conversation with a group of friends and monitor the same things as outlined in the previous examples. Include a non-judgmental friend in the group conversation and ask him/her for feedback?
Practice makes perfect!
Be Well!
Lawrence J. Schulte, Ph.D. C.Ht.
Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology (1990-Present)
Registered Hypnotherapist (2016-Present)
